7 Powerful Coping Skills to Become an Anger Management Ninja

7 Powerful Coping Skills to Become an Anger Management Ninja

Sometimes things don’t go your way. It’s life. You didn’t get the promotion, your team missed a milestone, your child decided to color on the walls instead of paper or your presidential candidate lost the election.
 

If you’re human, when the sh*t hits, you probably experience a moment (or two, or ten) of anger and frustration. For some people, their angry thoughts turn to rage like an uncontrollable fire. If you don’t want to leave a path of destruction in your wake, coping skills are your BFF.

As a grown up, you can’t throw a tantrum or slam the nearest object against the wall every time you feel the flare of anger rising from within. What you can do 100% of the time is reach into your cadre of coping skills and regulate your response.

People Are Watching Even When You Think They’re Not
 

When we first moved to my current home, my children and I went out to the store to get a drink and a treat. It was hot; I had boatloads of unpacking to do, and they were slow and wanted to explore. Eventually, I lost my temper and told them to MOVE! NOW!

The next week I went to a job interview and the first thing the CEO of the organization said to me was “I know you. I saw you out shopping with your kids this weekend…”

I was horrified. He laughed it off and said he’d been there many times, but I never wanted to be there again. I could do better and so can you.

Knowing and Doing are Two Different Things
 

Yes, this article has seven coping skills that are proven to work. However, the hardest choice you have to make is to use them. When you’re upset and frustrated, it can quickly become a runaway train that feels unstoppable. The best time to engage your coping skills is when your anger is leaving the station, not when it’s barreling towards sure destruction.

If you want to be an Anger Management Ninja, you have to practice. A headache, right? Practicing coping skills? The truth is, in the moment, you’ll never make choices that feel uncomfortable and foreign. If you do, it will just piss you off even more. Get to know these strategies now, so when you need them, you can call on them like your personal pair of anger blasting nunchucks.

7 Powerful Coping Skills to Master and Become an Anger Management Ninja
 

1. Walk Away
 

When you feel your blood start to boil, excuse yourself. Step into another room or the hall or get a coffee. Walking away will give you space before an uncontrollable explosion a moment alone to use other coping skills on this list.

2. Take a 10,000 Foot View
 

In the thick of things, it’s impossible to see a way forward. Get in a mental helicopter or take an inner hike to a top of a mountain. Look at your situation from this new perspective where you can look down as an outsider from the stress, pain or frustration of the moment. The mental distance between you and your circumstances helps to create an objective response instead of an automatic anger response.

3. Do Something Else
 

Play Candy Crush or your smartphone game of choice. Take out your knitting or look at pictures from your last vacation. Do something that you enjoy doing and only takes a few minutes. While you’re at it, make the conscious choice not to fume or replay the anger inciting moment, but instead be present with what’s in front of you now.

4. Guided Relaxation
 

If you are somewhere you can lie down, or at least privately sit somewhere comfortable, you can do a quick guided relaxation. When you’re angry, your body’s response is to tighten and internalize the stress you’re feeling. Close your eyes and start at the top of your head imagining a warm blue (or pick your favorite color) liquid flowing through you. Slowly move it down your body and through each of your limbs ending with your toes. The more you practice, the easier it becomes to get into the flow and reap the benefits.

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Alli Polin
Personal Development
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Alli Polin, CPCC, ACC, is a former senior executive with deep experience in leadership, change management, and organization development. Now a writer, coach, and speaker, she ... Click for full bio

Top Picks in Asset Allocation

Top Picks in Asset Allocation

Written b: John Bilton, Head of Global Multi-Asset Strategy, Multi-Asset Solutions

As global growth broadens out and the reflation theme gains traction, the outlook brightens for risky assets


Four times a year, our Multi-Asset Solutions team holds a two-day-long Strategy Summit where senior portfolio managers and strategists discuss the economic and market outlook. After a rigorous examination of a wide range of quantitative and qualitative measures and some spirited debate, the team establishes key themes and determines its current views on asset allocation. Those views will be reflected across multi-asset portfolios managed by the team.

From our most recent summit, held in early March, here are key themes and their macro and asset class implications:

Key themes and their implications
 

Asset allocation views


For the first time in seven years, we see growing evidence that we may get a more familiar end to this business cycle. After feeling our way through a brave new world of negative rates and “lower for longer,” we’re dusting off the late-cycle playbook and familiarizing ourselves once again with the old normal. That is not to say that we see an imminent lurch toward the tail end of the cycle and the inevitable events that follow. Crucially, with growth broadening out and policy tightening only glacially, we see a gradual transition to late cycle and a steady rise in yields that, recent price action suggests, should not scare the horses in the equity markets.

If it all sounds a bit too Goldilocks, it’s worth reflecting that, in the end, this is what policymakers are paid to deliver. While there are persistent event risks in Europe and the policies of the Trump administration remain rather fluid, the underlying pace of economic growth is reassuring and the trajectory of U.S. rate hikes is relatively accommodative by any reasonable measure. So even if stock markets, which have performed robustly so far this year, are perhaps due a pause, our conviction is firming that risk asset markets can continue to deliver throughout 2017.

Economic data so far this year have surprised to the upside in both their level and their breadth. Forward-looking indicators suggest that this period of trend-like global growth can persist through 2017, and risks are more skewed to the upside. The U.S. economy’s mid-cycle phase will likely morph toward late cycle during the year, but there are few signs yet of the late-cycle exuberance that tends to precede a recession. This is keeping the Federal Reserve (Fed) rather restrained, and with three rate hikes on the cards for this year and three more in 2018, it remains plausible that this cycle could set records for its length.

Investment implications


Our asset allocation reflects a growing confidence that economic momentum will broaden out further over the year. We increase conviction in our equity overweight (OW), and while equities may be due a period of consolidation, we see stock markets performing well over 2017. We remain OW U.S. and emerging market equity, and increase our OW to Japanese stocks, which have attractive earnings momentum; we also upgrade Asia Pacific ex-Japan equity to OW given the better data from China. European equity, while cheap, is exposed to risks around the French election, so for now we keep our neutral stance. UK stocks are our sole underweight (UW), as we expect support from the weak pound to be increasingly dominated by the economic challenges of Brexit. On balance, diversification broadly across regions is our favored way to reflect an equity OW in today’s more upbeat global environment.

With Fed hikes on the horizon, we are hardening our UW stance on duration, but, to be clear, we think that fears of a sharp rise in yields are wide of the mark. Instead, a grind higher in global yields, roughly in line with forwards, reasonably reflects the gradually shifting policy environment. In these circumstances, we expect credit to outperform duration, and although high valuations across credit markets are prompting a greater tone of caution, we maintain our OW to credit.

For the U.S. dollar, the offsetting forces of rising U.S. rates and better global growth probably leave the greenback range-bound. Event risks in Europe could see the dollar rise modestly in the short term, but repeating the sharp and broad-based rally of 2014-15 looks unlikely. A more stable dollar and trend-like global growth create a benign backdrop for emerging markets and commodities alike, leading us to close our EM debt UW and maintain a neutral on the commodity complex.

Our portfolio reflects a world of better growth that is progressing toward later cycle. The biggest threats to this would be a sharp rise in the dollar or a political crisis in Europe, while a further increase in corporate confidence or bigger-than-expected fiscal stimulus are upside risks. As we move toward a more “normal” late-cycle phase than we dared hope for a year back, fears over excessive policy tightening snuffing out the cycle will grow. But after several years of coaxing the economy back to health, the Fed, in its current form, will be nothing if not measured..

Learn how to effectively allocate your client’s portfolio here.

DISCLOSURE:

This document is a general communication being provided for informational purposes only.  It is educational in nature and not designed to be a recommendation for any specific investment product, strategy, plan feature or other purpose. Any examples used are generic, hypothetical and for illustration purposes only. Prior to making any investment or financial decisions, an investor should seek individualized advice from a personal financial, legal, tax and other professional advisors that take into account all of the particular facts and circumstances of an investor’s own situation. 

J.P. Morgan Asset Management is the marketing name for the asset  management business of JPMorgan Chase & Co and its affiliates worldwide. Copyright 2017 JPMorgan Chase & Co. All rights reserved.
J.P. Morgan Asset Management
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