You Are the Only One Who Can Honor Your Life Choices

You Are the Only One Who Can Honor Your Life Choices

This afternoon my son had his Science Fair, and before school, I asked him how many parents were going to make it – it was scheduled for mid-day. He said less than half the kids reported that their parent would attend – they had to work.

We talked about the life I’ve created to be able to be at the fair. Saying YES with my eyes fully open and saying NO to things that take me off course. (With a fair share of yes and no in the wrong direction and later course correction.)

There was a time I traveled weekly, was taking calls and texting about work 24/7, and prioritized work over many other things a lot of the time. I had to do it. I had no choice. Or, then again, maybe I did have a choice but didn’t take responsibility for my life choices. Instead, I made up stories that defended and protected me from my constant go-go-go largely professional focus instead.

Are You Honoring Your Life Choices?


Four years ago, when we moved to Australia and moved to a small town in the Outback, life changed as did my business. Interestingly, my way of thinking about work vs. life did not make the leap with my body. I was still pushing for “success,” yet not really making choices that honored the life I said I wanted.

For the past few days, messages have been pouring in on LinkedIn congratulating me on my work anniversary; seven years of Break the Frame. What they can’t see in a status update is what’s going on behind the scenes or, more accurately, behind the screen.

One year ago, I had a medical diagnosis that forced me to make a decision about major, life changing surgery. It turned out that the decision became easier once it was a choice. I did more than make up my mind (made the decision)… The moment of choice I stepped into my power.

Still, it’s not easy.

It’s not easy to make life choices that you tell yourself other people would judge if they only knew about them. Choices that slowed down my success trajectory in exchange for simply living my life. For the first time in my adult life, I chose to work less, prioritized self-care and time with family outpaced my desire for a robust bank account and professional success… but I rarely talked about it publicly or wrote about it here. I was slowly but surely reframing my definition of success into one that consciously prioritized satisfaction.

Now, a year later, my brain is still catching up with my body, but things have changed.

  • I chose to be at the Science Fair.
  • For the past week, I chose to have live flowers in the house.
  • For the past few months, I chose to up my commitment to the gym.
  • For the past year, I chose not to travel for speaking, consulting or conferences.
  • For the past four years, I chose to take my kids to school most mornings and pick them up in the afternoons.
     

Over the years I’ve worked with many clients who echoed words I have said far too often. They complained about their crappy projects or long hours and lamented that they had no choice. I’d ask,”Who’s forcing you? Who’s making your choice for you?” For the past year, I’ve been asking myself those same questions.

Choices, Ripples and Mindfulness


Some of the choices we make are small and others more significant. The things they share in common are ripples and mindfulness.

The ripples are the impact of our life choices that move beyond each one of us and mindfulness is taking responsibility for being present in your experience.

We need to be responsible not only for ourselves but our ripples. There is a movement that says we need to put ourselves first. However, you may wake up one morning only to discover that everyone else is gone. Mindfulness enables us to see our ripples and make choices that reflect beyond our bubble of one.

Mindfully choose happiness – it’s the ultimate success

Are You Choosing or Floating?


You and I, we can go through life like we’re on a raft on a roaring river being bounced about, holding on for dear life and moving forward (so it feels like progress) OR we can pick up the oars, get off the rapids and move with mindfulness, conscious choice, and whole-hearted intention.

Downshifting is a choice. Closing your business is a choice. Doing what you love is a choice. Being with people you love is a choice. Travel is a choice, and adventure is too. Creating a startup is a choice. Working late on a daily basis is a choice along with trillions of others.

Want to honor your life choices? Stop worrying so much about what others think.

One year after my first of several surgeries, the biggest and most important choice I’m making is to choose happiness. It’s time for my mind, body, and spirit to get into alignment. It’s time for a new chapter, and my son’s Science Fair is one of the pages I’m highlighting as I write my story.

I’ll be honest, what’s next is cloudy for me. I suppose that’s not something we’re supposed to admit or publish on a blog about personal leadership. However, I believe, it’s accepting those cloudy moments that creates the space for what’s next; resisting keeps us stuck.

Confusion precedes clarity. Keep exploring. 

Alli Polin
Personal Development
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Alli Polin, CPCC, ACC, is a former senior executive with deep experience in leadership, change management, and organization development. Now a writer, coach, and speaker, she ... Click for full bio

Most Read IRIS Articles of the Week: April 17-21

Most Read IRIS Articles of the Week: April 17-21

Here’s a look at the Top 11 Most Viewed Articles of the Week on IRIS.xyz, April 17-21, 2017 


Click the headline to read the full article.  Enjoy!


1. Market Keeping You up at Night? Look for the Right Hedge


Like so many others in the industry, I was wrong. For years, I was certain that the bull market was nearing its end. I thought the market was over-extended, and that, surely, the wild equities run was coming to an end. But everyone else was bullish, and perhaps rightfully so. And while I’ve watched equities continue on their spectacular rise, I do think now is the time (really!) to put a hedge in place. Here’s why. Here’s how. — Adam Patti

2. How to Manage Bond Market Pain and Seek the Gain When Rates Are Rising


The realities for fixed income investors have changed. How is this being reflected in markets? Bond investing has become increasingly difficult over the past decade. Markets have been heavily distorted by ultra-low interest rates and quantitative easing, as well as by extreme risk aversion in response to the global economic crisis and the eurozone debt crisis. — Nick Gartside

3. Seven Reasons You'll Fail as a Financial Advisor


Is being a financial advisor worth it? I am an optimistic person and I encourage other people to keep a positive mental attitude (shout-out to Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone). However, by taking a good, hard look at the negatives in life, we can successfully pivot towards the positive aspects that will help us achieve our goals. — James Pollard

4. The Secret to Turning Every Prospect into a Client


How do you treat one of your most valued, existing clients? Here’s a list of some things that come to mind. — Andrew Sobel

5. Why Do Clients Change Advisors?


According to many advisors I speak with, the only clients that leave are those who have died. And while attrition may not be a big problem in this industry, I have to assume that at least a few clients change advisors without doing so via the funeral home. — Julie Littlechild

6. Why You Should Focus on Getting Referral Sources


I was talking with an advisor last week about how to get into conversations about what he does. He was relaying the story of going jogging with a friend who could be a good client but is, more importantly, connected to a large network of people who fit this advisors ideal client description. — Stephen Wershing

7. How Big Picture Thinkers Seize More Opportunities in 7 Steps


Big picture thinkers are not unicorns - rare and mystical. And they were not born with the innate ability to think big. They do, however, pay attention to the broader landscape and take the time to think, analyze and evaluate. — Jill Houtman and Danny Domenighini

8. 5 Actions to Build Your Reputation


Your reputation is who you are and how you show up, Monday to Monday®.  Many of us take our image and reputation for granted.  Give careful thought to the kind of reputation that you would be proud of Monday to Monday® and that would resonate with your purpose and priorities. — Stacey Hanke

9. How Are You Poised to Begin Welcoming GenZ to Your Workplace?


The generational changing of the guard is a fact of life as old as time. Young replaces old in responsibility, importance, control and culture. Outside of the family, the workplace is perhaps where this is seen most regularly by most people. — Shirley Engelmeier

10. Are Price Objections REALLY Price Objections?


Next time you hear your prospects give you price objections, it’s not because of the price. The give price objections because they don’t know the full value proposition that they’d be paying for. And it’s not based on their need, or your features and functions. It’s based on the buying criteria they want to meet internally. — Sofia Carter

11. Understanding the Economic Value of Transition Deals


Last week we wrote about the economic rationale behind going independent vs. moving to another major firm as an employee. As a follow-up topic, we thought it prudent to analyze transition packages attached to big firm moves and peel back the layers of the onion to show the components of these deals. — Louis Diamond

Douglas Heikkinen
Perspective
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IRIS Founder and Producer of Perspective—a personal look at the industry, and notables who share what they’ve learned, regretted, won, lost and what continues to ... Click for full bio