Blaming someone for a bad situation is an unfortunate part of human nature. It happens in real time every day and there’s a stunning, recent example of it from the world of sports.
As you well know, the Kanas City Chiefs defeated the San Francisco 49ers in overtime of the Super Bowl last Sunday. Following the game, there was much controversy surrounding 49ers Head Coach Kyle Shanahan’s decision to accept the ball at the start of overtime. Owing to the NFL’s new overtime rules for playoff games, that amounts to a tactical era. That was proven as the 49ers notched a field goal on their drive while the Chiefs scored a touchdown on their ensuing drive. Game over.
The responsibility of knowing the rules and passing those rules onto the players participating in the coin toss belongs to the head coach. No one else. Combine that with Shanahan’s increasingly lengthy list of gaffes on the NFL’s biggest stage and it no fan would be surprised if he was the one to take the blame (get fired). After all, blame must be assigned.
Alas, we don’t live in a perfect world. Shanahan remains employed, proving even in 2023, who our parents are matters. But rest assured blame was assigned. On Wednesday, the 49ers sacked Defensive Coordinator Steve Wilks. And yes, there are parallels between the 49ers blame and how married couples deal with financial issues.
Couples and Money: Too Much Blame to Go Around
A recent survey of 500 married couples across various age groups by Beyond Finance indicates 43% of those couples don’t have to put forth much effort to avoid blaming the other for a bleak financial situation. That’s sounds good, but it also means 57% do have to restrain themselves when comes to assigning financial blame.
That’s important because as the survey notes, a happy marriage in a financial sense isn’t as much rooted in salaries and size of retirement of accounts as it is in how the couple handles tough financial times.
“Debt and income are not as important to marital satisfaction as how the couple deals with finances,” said Dr. Galen Buckwalter. “Some people who don’t experience the stressors of debt still experience marital strife if they can’t properly communicate about their finances. It’s vital to understand where they stand together on economic issues.”
Advisors should note some other potentially discouraging findings in the Beyond Finance survey. For example, 28% of those polled believe more communication isn’t helpful when financial tribulations occur. Likewise, the same percentage can rarely reach agreement on major purchases, including cars and houses.
Moving Beyond Blame
For advisors with married clients, the good news is that blame is akin to any other problem in that there’s very likely a solution. In this case, it’s “solutions.”
Buckwalter observes “understanding what’s to blame for financial stress instead of whom is key” and that “pooling resources can help unite a marriage and expenses.”
“Being open about earnings and savings could strike a balance in a marriage,” adds the expert. “Realizing each other’s emotional and financial styles of communication.”
The result could just be more financial cohesiveness on the home front.