For many people, success is a measurement of self-value and self-worth. In all of my combined years as a traditional financial advisor and wealth empowerment coach, I have found that most people equate their sense of worth to how much money they make, what they have, and what they can provide for others through the exchange of money.
What if you are someone who doesn’t bring home a paycheck? Someone such as a stay-at-home mom. What if you are an Entrepreneur, loaded with talent and brilliance, yet steady profits elude you.
Because you chose to stay at home to raise your children, does that somehow render you unworthy? Less valuable? Because you don’t bring money into the household, do you find that you’ve lost your voice in the financial decisions that are made for the family? At times, do you feel invisible?
As an Entrepreneur, you have a dream, a big dream. And whatever this dream may be, you have the courage to see it through and you do whatever it takes to make that dream come to life. Yet, if you don’t believe that the dream can come true, if you don’t believe in your worth and your value, your dream doesn’t stand a chance. And that doesn’t just leave you feeling disappointed, the effects are felt by those you love and by people who don’t even know who you are and what you offer. None the less, they are left wanting because you withhold from them what they need because of your lack of belief and self-worth.
At some point in time, we all got the crazy idea that we don’t deserve to succeed, that we don’t deserve to have a voice, that we are unworthy of having our dreams come true and not good enough in helping others to do the same. It’s as if we feel that we should be punished with the way in which we self-sabotage our dreams, goals, and happiness.
This false belief, this crazy idea, that you are not deserving of success can show up in a number of different ways. For some, it may show up as lack within your relationship with money. For an entrepreneur, it may show up as low demand for your product or lack of clients. Maybe you are a writer that aspires to publish a novel but can’t seem to bring yourself to dedicating the time to write.
Have you ever stopped to consider that the belief that you don’t deserve to be successful or worthy of your ideal life may be a form of self-prejudice? Thoughts of prejudice are often seen as taking place outside of ourselves. Prejudice is often directed towards groups of people based on the color of their skin, their religion, or their socio-economic conditions. You see it happen in athletic clubs, in the schools, and in the workplace. But did you ever stop to think that you may be prejudiced against yourself?
Over the years I have come to realize that what you see happening outside of you is merely a symbolic reflection of what’s happening inside you. What’s that expression? “Your outer world is a reflection of your inner condition” … something like that. So if that is true, then that means what you are thinking and believing about yourself is being projected outside of you. Your outer world … your relationships, your work, your business … all a mirror.
Check yourself in the mirror. What do you see reflecting back at you? Sometimes the mirror is something you see on TV, sometimes the mirror is playing itself out in the middle of your son’s soccer match. And other times, your mirror is what’s happening or not happening in your business, your relationships, your life.
In the past, there have been times when I looked into the mirror of my business and at the surface I saw a lack of clientele or a low number of women registering for my programs. It appeared that almost everyone was saying “no”.
But if my business is a mirror, then I have to ask myself, where have I been saying “no”? Do I believe that I can be continuously successful? (no?) Do I believe that I am deserving of the best in life – peace of mind, ease, equality, and wealth? (no?)
If others had been saying “no”, then I had been saying the same. I had been prejudiced against myself, a form of arrogance because I chose to believe that I was unworthy, undeserving, and unequal to all the others out there who were living out their dreams.
Truth is, there is no such thing as being undeserving. That is a concept made up by the ego, the thought system of fear, and there’s no basis in truth. God, or nature, does not seek to punish His own creations … so why would you?
Tough question, I know. But if you ever wish to step fully into your power, own your worth, and reclaim your wealth, you’ve got to look into your mirror and listen for the answers.
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