Overfiltering Kills Conversation

People tell me I’m direct.

I always think to myself, boy, there is so much I don’t tell.

I filter.


Kevin McCarthy, the presumptive successor to John Boehner as the Majority Speaker in the US House of Representatives, got himself into a bit of hot water last week with comments he made about the Benghazi hearings.

McCarthy spoke the truth.

He needs some media training, a tv pundit suggested.

Filter.


I had a week full of great conversations. Discovery chat with Erhard Ruettimann, a personal break-through specialist from Zuerich. Stream-of-consciousness banter with better-workplaces-champion Bill Jensen, author of the new book Future Strong. Mentorship talk with Rich BonGiovanni, gifted leadership trainer who is launching his own training firm. New business opportunities brainstorm with entrepreneur Faisal Hoque over Thai food in a strip mall in Orlando. Sipping coffee at a Starbucks with fellow C-Suite coach Scott Livingston, sharing coaching wisdom.

All very cool people.

We often have innocuous conversations with cool people.

These were not innocuous conversations.

My part in it: I was pretty unfiltered last week.

Filtering is a useful grown-up skill.


Kevin McCarthy probably does need some media training.

And then we gotta let it go.

Overfiltering kills conversation.

We filter ourselves into innocuousness, irrelevance, invisibility.

Unfiltering is not about saying everything that’s on our mind.

Unfiltering is not about being right or righteous.

It’s not about having the final word.

Unfilter with kindness and respect for the other person.

Unfilter to get to the conversation below the filtered one.

If you have an hour to have a conversation, why do the filtered version of life when unfiltered will get you substance and a bit of truth?

Unfiltered creates momentum. It accelerates life. S aves time.

This week, unfilter just a little more than you normally might.

And be surprised.