How to Change the Harvey Weinstein Mentality

Fashion designer Donna Karan suggested, in a red carpet interview about her associate Harvey Weinstein, that women are asking to be sexually harassed based on the way they dress.

Unfortunately, there is nothing new about this statement. As a woman of a certain age I have experienced women shaming other women as long as I can remember. We criticize women for not breastfeeding, for choosing to work over staying at home, or the other way around. We women are more critical of each other than any other species including sexual predators.

One of my friends told me last year that the reason she didn’t vote for Hillary (although she found Trump repulsive) was because Hillary stood by her man during the Lewinsky scandal. Really? As a woman you would rather vote for somebody who was proud of groping other women over a loyal wife? This just strikes me as bizarre but it’s the reality of our world and we women need to come to terms with it.

As long as we feel that it’s ok to shame other women nothing will change.

Hollywood (as we know) is not the only breeding ground for sexual predators who use power to get it their way. Having worked and consulted in the corporate world (in Europe and in the US) for almost four decades I can attest to that. Having had my own share of unpleasant experiences I know of many examples where women were bullied or felt pressured to do things that were inappropriate at best, borderline criminal in many cases.

It’s a men’s world. It was 40 years ago and it is still is today. Too many women in leadership want to be better and more forceful than their male counterparts. They often believe that they need to be harsh rather than nurturing to get ahead. One of my friends tells me that she is happy that she has a male boss, because he understands the challenges of being a mother with a demanding job, actually appreciates everything she does because he has a strong wife at home who he respects. This friend also shared with me that her best friend has a woman boss who never tolerates her wanting to attend her children’s school events, makes her feel bad when she asks for time off and demands things from her that she would never ask of a man.

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Of course, if guys attend baseball games of their children, they are heroes. “Isn’t he a wonderful Dad?, I often hear. “He takes time away from work to watch his children’s ball games.” When was the last time you heard that said about a woman? Maybe never?!

So here we go, fellow women. When will we be viewing ourselves as equals, treating each other with respect and dignity? When will we be kind and generous and forgiving, just the way we can be with men?

And woman like Donna Karan should be punished in the best way we women know how to. Stop buying her brand, that will hit her where it really hurts.