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Who Are​ You and Where Are You Going?


Who Are​ You and Where Are You Going?

Love this video and love, even more, the question:

Who are you?!?

When it comes to improving performance, in any area of your life, that question must be answered first. Who are you and who is responsible for where you are right now? The answer is, of course, you.

All of my clients come to me to improve their performance. As a business coach, my first task is to help myself and my client figure out where we are starting from…or, in other words, who are they? If you don’t own where you are starting from you have a far lesser chance of getting to where you want to be.

There are a ton of different ways to answer the question and I usually start with these questions. What is the difference, as reflected by a percentage, between your potential and actual performance in Physical, Spiritual, Family Life, Business and your Community Involvement?

From there the coaching conversation begins. We go over the answers, in depth, discovering the emotional driver behind each answer. For you, coaching client or not, the importance of this is paramount. You not only have to ‘know’ logically where you are, you also need to understand what is driving that reality from an emotional viewpoint if you ever want to improve as quickly and sustainably as possible.

Once we ‘own’ it (you can absolutely do this on your own!)…we can then move to evaluating next steps. The conversation revolves around the concept of gaining and maintaining momentum. Where can you pick up some momentum with the greatest degree of certainty of success?

Often, that is physical. We have almost 100% control of how much we eat in the developed world (especially people reading blogs on social media) and this is a great place to start. I always challenge my clients (and you now) to examine your nutrition (not your diet) and exercise.

A personal example: at the time of this blog posting I weigh 218lbs down from 250lbs in Mid-May. In the space of three months, I have lost over 32lbs (over 10% of my starting body weight) of fat. My secret? I ate less and better. I also have added exercise, but, I emphasize that the workouts were short and not anything of note. I am 49 years old, a veteran of the U.S. military and deal with many different physical challenges…my success is completely based upon eating less.

The bigger question is this: How did I become able to eat less? I have multiple certifications in different disciplines, military experience and a lifetime of sports participation. I have read dozens of books on nutrition and watched hundreds of videos on the subject…but, I still got fat.

What changed from having the knowledge to actually being able to put it into practice? 

Short answer: my father passed away from cancer in January of this year.

After grieving for several months I remembered what my father told me in the months before he passed. Pointing to a picture of the two of us at my graduation from Airborne School, he poked me in my ample belly saying “This isn’t WHO you are!” and then pointing at the photo, “This IS who you are!”

The more I reflected upon that the more emotionally I came to believe it. All my knowledge and willpower was worthless to me until I could emotional decide to change.

I wanted to reduce my weight to between 190-200lbs and see how I feel and look. As a business coach, I want my physical appearance to reflect discipline, not the lack thereof. 

Related: Your 2 Million Year Old Brain and Why You Don’t Succeed and Sell More

I am NOT trying to look like this:

I can definitively share with you that there is a tremendous amount of momentum that this success in my physical condition has given me and that momentum is being shared with every other aspect I am seeking to improve within. The increase in physical fitness is now allowing improvement everywhere else in my life.

Does that mean you need to start with your physical health? That, my friend, is totally in your court. If you are already in excellent physical condition, what other area represents the most likely zone to get some momentum going? 

Pick that area, set realistic goals that are based on emotion and logic and then GO.

One last thing: Nobody requires a coach to improve. The only thing that a coach does, without a doubt, offer to a client is the opportunity to improve faster and with more certainty. No coach can make you successful, and in fact, I explain to my clients that if they don’t believe they can succeed without me…I am not interested in coaching them.

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