Occasionally in business, we experience mistakes or missteps, breakdowns in communications or service breakdowns that result in “surprises” and serious business challenges (i.e., problems that need to be solved).
Similarly, in our personal lives we experience events or illnesses for ourselves or family members which result in a family crisis.
In many cases, whether in business or in our personal lives, when something unexpected and usually bad occurs, our first reaction is to ask “why.” When we ask “why,” there usually isn’t a very clear-cut answer or explanation. Asking “why” doesn’t offer solutions. It leads to guilt, blame, anger or frustration. When we experience these feelings, they eat at us and consume us emotionally, and eventually, physically. Asking “why” even leads to excuses being made, which really don’t help relieve the pain you may be feeling.
Rather than focus on “why,” my suggestion is that you focus on asking yourself “what.” When you focus on the “why,” you’re looking backwards, which doesn’t usually solve anything. Asking “what” is the relevant question. For example, “What can I do to make this better?” Or, “What can I do to put this on a positive track going forward?” Or, “What can be done to prevent it from taking place again in the future?”
Related: Six Steps to Raise Your Personal Performance
Thinking of the “what” instead of the “why” is a way to move forward and focus your energy on what you can do , not what you can’t do about something that’s already happened. Asking “what” allows you to think about options.
Asking “what” also forces you to stay in the moment with an eye towards the future. The present is the only place that you can influence anything. Stay in the moment and do the best you can.
Finally, asking the “what” questions help you to restore or rebuild your resiliency. Resiliency is about the ability to absorb emotional and mental shock or adversity, while having the strength, perspective, and depth inside to find the path out.