Whether we care to admit it or not, there has been a time in all of our lives where we have been reluctant or flat out decided NOT to do something due to a lack of confidence. Perhaps at the time we didn’t consider it a confidence issue or barrier. In fact, you probably never even thought of the word confidence at all.
Other feelings like fear, hesitation, uncertainty or maybe even lack of clarity is more of what you were feeling at the moment you decided not to do something you wanted to do.
The interesting thing is: it all comes back to confidence.
Confidence is the deep rooted factor that is behind us, either cheering us on, or telling us to step back into the shadows. It may come out in many different feelings and emotions for each of us, and can leave us confused, angry, upset or even frustrated that we couldn’t just go for it.
Whatever it is.
There is good news, however: You can find confidence.
Confidence to do the things you’ve always wanted to try. To say the things you’ve always wanted to say. To go for that one BIG thing you’ve always dreamt of doing.
You can begin by doing these five things to unleash your confidence right now:
1. Speak of your passions:
Have you ever paid attention to how happy and knowledgable you sound when you’re speaking about something you’re so passionate about? Have you noticed how engaging you become, and how excited those around you get when they listen to you discuss something that really lights you up? Speaking about your passions is a great way to make yourself feel comfortable in any conversation, networking scenario or even when getting to know someone one-on-one. Will it always relate to the task or job at hand? No. It won’t. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t push yourself to think of ways in which you can be speaking to your passions when put in situations where your confidence might feel challenged.
2. Promote yourself:
People often misconstrue promoting themselves for obnoxiously bragging. There is definitely a right way and a wrong way to share all of the amazing things about yourself without turning people off. This is a skill that will take practice and require a level of comfort - but remember this: nobody else can speak to your level of ability and all of the amazing things you have accomplished like YOU can. Practice what it is you want to share, and what you want others to know - then go and tell them about it.
3. Go with your gut:
If something doesn’t feel right - it probably isn’t. Keep in mind that it’s not always confidence laughing in your face when you second guess a decision or action. Doing anything at all can be really challenging when your gut tells you not to. When an opportunity presents itself you must always trust your gut. Get to know the difference between that voice in your head telling you “you can’t” and that pit in your stomach saying “you shouldn’t”.
4. Collaborate:
It takes a village, and achieving your vision and goals in any scenario is no exception. This is where we need to realize that we can’t be all things to all people, colleagues, managers, friends, spouses, etc. You must be able to understand what strengths you bring to the table and where others can fill in the gaps to collaborate and make great things happen. There is power in numbers - so find someone to collaborate with and take note of how great it feels to see the progress you make on whatever it is you are looking to achieve. Being able to do something alone versus with someone else doesn’t make you any less amazing.
5. Be open to feedback:
It’s not always easy to hear, or what we’re hoping to receive, but feedback can be critical to our ability to feel good and keep moving in the right direction. Be open to what people have to say about the good and the bad. Allow the good to keep you growing (and promoting!), and note the bad so you can really evaluate your self awareness and where you feel you should be eliminating anything from your actions or tendencies. Not all feedback is necessarily the end all be all of who you are and what you do - but note consistencies in the feedback you receive from various people, and decide for yourself how to grow from there.
Use these as focus points, and pursue your confidence through practice each and every day. Nothing happens over night, but your confidence can be unleashed if you’re willing to work at it.
If you’re a woman looking to elevate your personal & professional growth you can find out more about working with Kim here.