Are Your Practices Creating the Future You Desire?

Are Your Practices Creating the Future You Desire?

We are shaped by practices and shape ourselves through practices.” Bob Dunham

Are your practices creating a more powerful life for you? Or, are they creating more of the breakdowns limiting your life?  I recently read a great blog by an associate and friend of mine, Jerry Holtaway,  entitled My morning disconnectionism“. Jerry breaks down how his practices were having a negative effect on his daily routine. The article reinforced what I know to be true in my life and in the life of every one of my clients. Our practices shape how we see the world. Are you willing to look at your practices?

From an ontological coaching perspective (ontology, the study of being human) we look at three factors that shape how we see the world:

The Body-  We exist in our body – you can not escape this reality. It is the ship that navigates your life. What are you practicing in your body?

Are you practicing a body that is strong and healthy, benefitting from exercise and healthy eating. On a daily basis is your body radiating energy and expanding, ready to embrace your interactions no matter how complex they may be?


Are you practicing a body that is worn down and tired, shrinking from the daily demands of life?  Do you fill your body with chemicals and manufactured foods?  Is your body contracting, merely getting you from place to place, and conserving what limited energy you have?

Language- Language is the fundamental human tool.  We are linguistic beings and we create stories through language to understand the world around us.  What are you practicing in language?

Are you making powerful requests that allow you to create the future you desire?  Are you having effective conversations for action with those around you?  Are you unlocking the potential that allows you and your team to fulfill on your promises?


Are you practicing using language to create stories that allow you to stay in your victimhood?  Are you complaining about another, instead of making a request so that they can fulfill your request?  Are your conversations for action more like conversations of inaction and disgust and frustration?

Moods and Emotions- As humans we are emotional beings.  Moods and Emotions shape how we see the world and give our stories their meaning. What are you practicing in your moods and emotions?

Are you seeing the world through powerful moods and emotions such as gratitude, acceptance, peace, ambition and wonder?  Do your moods and emotions allow you to see what is possible and what beauty the world has to offer?


Are you seeing the world through limiting moods and emotions such as resentment, anger, resignation (shows up as a rational excuse why things cannot change.) and anxiety? Do your moods and emotions limit what you see as possible and hinder your ability to see the beauty the world around you has to offer?

So, what are you practicing?  As Bob Dunham stated: “We are shaped by practices and shape ourselves through practices.” Therefore, whatever we are practicing, we are getting better at.  We are always practicing.  What we practice we become good at it.  For most of us, we have decades of practice, some of these practices help us, and some limit us. What we as leaders need to do is to choose what we practice.  After all, we are only living the one shot at life we have.  It may be time to change some of our practices.

Croft Edwards
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Croft’s deeply focused study of leadership and command, which earned him an MA in Civil War Studies, was a perfect prologue to his coaching of hundreds of individuals at all ... Click for full bio

How to Introduce and Position Yourself the Right Way

How to Introduce and Position Yourself the Right Way

Introducing yourself – more to getting it right than you think!

What do you say when someone asks you “so what do you do?”

You might say, “I’m a financial advisor”. Or “I’m an investment advisor”. If you’re a top advisor, you might be compelled to say “I’m Vice President and Portfolio Manager”. Or even “I’m a CFA”.

Well put all of those away if you’re introducing yourself to a woman you might want as a client. None of the above will impress her – she might even “run for the door” thinking you’re going to try to “sell” her something.

Your goal is have her say “tell me more about that”.

So what do you say?

Here are 4 quick tips:

  1. Make it about your clients
  2. Make it about outcomes
  3. Make it interesting
  4. Make it fun

How about something like this: “I help people have their cake and eat it too”.  Doesn’t that beg the question “what does that mean” or “how do you do that”.

Okay maybe that’s a bit over the edge but it’s important you make it about the people you help and not about what you do to help people get there.

Related: Turning a Female Prospect Into a Client

Try this:

I help <type of people you serve”> <achieve this>. Something like:

  • I help retirees create a sustainable income.
  • I help women understand money on their terms.
  • I help young couples get a good start towards financial security.

Now you try it! Send us your best one.

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Strategy Marketing
Marketing to Women
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Paulette Filion and Judy Paradi are partners at Strategy Marketing and have run their own businesses for more than 20 years. Paulette is an expert in financial services and Ju ... Click for full bio