Change is hard. Don’t believe anyone who tells you it’s not. Ideas, dreams, wishes, that’s easier. Sitting on your couch thinking big, who hasn’t done that?
“I should quit my job and become a location independent blogger. I’d love to travel the world.”
“I always make people laugh. It would rock to perform at Second City someday.”
“I could write a book that’s better than this one. In fact, I should.”
“I don’t need this many headaches. I’m totally going to quit my job.”
Whoa. Before you quit you job tomorrow, it’s important to understand if you’re a Wisher, Persister or a Succeeder on this particular dream. What? Haven’t you heard those terms before? Okay, I made them up, but I use them because they’re a great guide for getting clear on where you currently stand and how to achieve your goals.
Wishers, Persisters and Succeeders all have opportunities to make focused changes in their approaches. It’s all about figuring out a next step that’s meaningful, intentional and will drive desired results.
Most people don’t fall into one category in all areas of their life. In fact, chances are, you’ve been all three at one time or another. For example, you may be a Wisher when it comes to writing your book, a Persister when it comes to running a marathon, and a Succeeder with starting your own business.
How to Achieve Your Goals for Wishers, Persisters, and Succeeders
Instead of thinking of this model as a series of landing points, consider them doors that you open with your actions. The keys are confidence, creativity, and growing competence over time. Let’s take a closer look.
This is where we all start, and some of us get stuck, forever.
What are some of the telltale signs of a Wisher?
Wishers think big, but one of the hallmarks of Wishers is that the dream is constantly morphing. At least that’s the way it seems on the surface.
I swear one of my clients has a new business idea monthly that they are “definitely” going to do. From the outside, the ideas are seemingly unrelated with the only commonality that my client is 100% gung ho.
Finally, we dove into the deeper work of what he truly wants. It’s not to start a drop ship business on eBay, shocker; it’s to create a business and a life where he can work fewer hours and be with his family more. Aha.
All Talk, No Action (or half-hearted at best)
When it comes to talk, Wishers don’t play small. In fact, they often have significant goals and ideas. They also talk about them all the time.
“I’m thinking about…”
“I know what I’m going to do.”
“Have I told you…”
Yep. You’ve told me and everyone else too.
I don’t want to categorize all Wishers as exclusively big talkers. Some Wishers do take action, but it’s usually to back up their excuses instead of moving the dream forward.
“I tried to get a new job. I put my resume on Monster, but nothing came of it.”
“I was going to run today, but I’m still sore from my run a few days ago. I can’t.”
Let Fear Rule
People who are forever wishing and taking limited action to make their dreams a reality are often secretly afraid. What if they’re not talented enough, smart enough, connected enough? What if they’re found out for being imposters, stepping too far too fast?
Wishers start to believe the devil on their shoulder and replace potential action with longing. The “what if’s” erode confidence to the point where the dream is a great one… for someone else.
Homework for Wishers
1) Uncover what you want at the core. Is it to be a blogger or to have a location independent business or to travel more. When you know what your big vision is, it becomes your guiding star for all of your ideas and actions.
2) Stop worrying about what you’ll do half-way to your goal. Take the first step, your next step, to turn your dream into reality. If you stand still, so does your dream.
3) Turn your fear into energy. Start with positive self-talk. You may feel silly at first but until you believe in yourself, you’ll never move forward with confidence.
No more thinking, Persisters start doing and keep on going.
What are some of the telltale signs of a Persister?
Action is Your Middle Name
Persisters are in motion, no longer wishing; they’ve moved to creating. However, not all action is created equal.
I know a few coaches from my coach training days that wanted to be able to support themselves full time through their practice, so they started blogging, a lot. They’ve been very busy blogging almost daily for years but still have very limited clients. They are clearly Persisters, but their challenge is they’re not sure what else to add to their current action to move forward. They don’t know their next step.
Focus on the Vision
Remember the vision the Wishers had for homework? Most Persisters have it down. They know what they want, and they’re going after it. All activity centers on achieving their goal.
Persisters are also great at blocking out distraction and suffer far less from “shiny object syndrome” than Wishers. Smart Persisters know that they can’t write their novel while watching TV or play Candy Crush while facilitating their team meeting.
Distractions are always present, but Persisters are unlikely to be easily knocked off course.
Push Through Even When You Want to Stop
Not everything you have to do to achieve a goal, even one you strongly desire, is going to be fun. In fact, not everything you do is going to be perfect. Persisters recognize that just because they went off their diet on Tuesday, it doesn’t mean that Wednesday is shot as well.
Persisters push through pain, setbacks, and frustration because the big vision keeps pulling them forward. Difficulty doesn’t mean giving up.
Homework for Persisters:
1) Remember, variety is a Friend. If you’re having mild to moderate success with your current techniques, change it up and challenge yourself to try something new. You never know when a small tweak to routine can yield big results.
2) Don’t hang in there indefinitely. I know that the commonly issued advice is “don’t give up!” It’s time to add “too soon” to the end of that thought. It’s not a failure to learn from your efforts and shift your energy towards a new goal after giving it your all.
3) Put in some hustle to multiply the impact of your effort. It’s okay to have good days and bad days, it’s human. Look up hustle in the dictionary and you’ll find that it’s “a state of great activity.” Keep turning up the volume to reach your max potential.
The next doorway is the Succeeders. It’s not a secret club of super lucky people who got a big break. They worked for it, hard. Persisters understand taking a wish, putting it into action and working hard towards a goal. Nevertheless, some Persisters do give up before success but that doesn’t necessarily translate to failure. For some, their dream has shifted, or their passion has waned. Others discover that their dream doesn’t bring them joy and is simply one more thing on their to-do list they despise.
If you stop before success, after giving it your all, it’s not failure, it’s a choice.
Achieving goals and celebrating accomplishments.
What are some of the telltale signs of a Succeeder?
Risk is a Friend
Succeeders don’t shy away from risk. They’re also experts at discerning between unnecessary risk and smart opportunities that require significant fortitude. While others may resist stepping into the discomfort of the unknown, Succeeders thrive on the edge.
Energized and most alive when pushing themselves to the limits of their capabilities, Succeeders relish a challenge.
Whatever it Takes – Within Reason
Focused, driven, and energized, Succeeders are willing to push themselves to the limit to achieve their goals, but not beyond. They know themselves well enough to know that it’s not only this single goal that matters but where it fits in their full life.
Yes, people who have a mantra of “whatever it takes” often do create some level of success in a particular area. However, Succeeders recognize that each goal is a part of the whole picture, a single spoke on a larger wheel.
Never One and Done
Succeeders rarely achieve their goal and go back to their old ways. They’ve made success a habit and thrive on the adrenaline rush of meeting big goals. Most marathoners I know train for one, and the next day are already looking towards their next.
Similarly, the people who make the greatest impact at work not only share their ideas but take on the challenge of moving the work forward. They’re constantly working on special projects because they suggest them and raise their hands… and it gets noticed.
Some Succeeders become addicted to bigger, bolder and more aggressive goals yet still struggle with figuring out their next step. They know where they’ve been and all they’ve done to get them to where they are, but need support on what’s next. The key is that once they find clarity, Succeeders are on their way.
Homework for Succeeders:
1) Never stop dreaming. When you stop being creative, innovating and dreaming, you’re done. Continue to build on your success by allowing yourself to dream about what’s next, play with concepts, and bring them to life.
2) Continue to stretch and grow. Just like you need to expand your goals, you should also continue to work on yourself. Take on new challenges, focus on learning and personal development.
3) Chase the butterflies. Safety didn’t make you a Succeeder. You took risks to get where you are. When you feel the butterflies, you know you’re headed in the right direction. Continue to find things that excite and energize you to be and do your best.
Where do you fit? Do you recognize yourself across all three?
Where am I a Wisher? At work? With my fitness goals?
Where am I a Persister? With my business? With my relationship?
Where am I a Succeeder? Travel? Blogging? Writing? Running?
Now ask yourself, what’s one step, no matter how small it may seem, that I can take to move forward?
In my practice, I love to work with Wishers who are ready to open the door to success by finally taking action despite their fears. I also challenge Persisters to change up their game and break the frame to create higher levels of success. Lastly, Succeeders don’t need me to push them but instead turn the spotlight within to continue to expand.
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