What Not To Say To A Grieving Person
I lost my dad in 2017. September 29, 2017. It was a hellish time for me and my family. I got a text from my brother John. “We’ve got dad in an ambulance. Think he’s had a stroke.”
So I flew to Chicagoland. Went to the hospital everyday. We all took turns sleeping there. Just waiting for him to wake up. Some doctors said they had the answer & all would be well. The next doctors said, “it’s over.” It went like that for 10 days. Up & down on the worst roller coaster of all time.
I remained positive. I wanted to give him a feeding tube (since he was unconscious and couldn’t eat or drink). I wanted things to be different.
You’ll tell me negative things shouldn’t stand out in my mind but this one nurse who was there was educating me about dying. I was saying things like, “let’s give him a feeding tube” and she kept lecturing me that people who are dying don’t want to eat. I was confused, blurred in my mind, so instead of replying I just felt angry. But later I realized what I should’ve said: “He doesn’t not WANT to eat he’s fricking unconscious!”
Then when the holy person came in to give him his last rites or say a prayer, right in the middle of the so-called prayer she mentioned someone else in the hospital who lost a child to cancer. I stopped her right there and said, “no way, you can’t make us feel guilty about losing my dad, no way!” She back-pedaled immediately like the experienced professional she was and said, “oh yes, you knew him for longer so it’s harder.” Well the damage is done. We feel guilty.
Right now I say, “f-you” to both of them and the doctors too. Learn how to communicate with people who are going through a hard time! Because you don’t know how. Wouldn’t you rather be the person whom people remember fondly from a difficult time in their past?! Right now I’d rather be telling you a story about the people who said the right things to me. The people who didn’t make my pain worse.
You’re only doing a very small part of your job if you can’t communicate with your patients. How can you live your life? You tell someone that an unconscious person doesn’t want to eat?! He wanted to eat before he became unconscious!! How do you know what he wants?!
Make a point of learning what to say to people. At all times. When they’re grieving. When they’re wanting to buy something-I don’t care. Work on your ability to communicate! If you don’t want to learn something new then when faced with a grieving person just shut your trap.
Extra Tip–Some Things You Can Say to a Grieving Person
Now that I’ve stopped crying and cursing I’ll go back to my professional self. So here are some things you can say to a grieving person.
“I’m sorry for your loss. I know you’re in a lot of pain.”
“I’m here for you if you want to talk, be quiet or just cry.”
“Just wanted to reach out and let you know I’m thinking of you. Your dad seemed like a special man.”
“I brought some tissues & 2 bottles of red wine.”
“My thoughts & prayers are with you.”
Do Valuations Matter?
Written by: David Lebovitz
The S&P 500 has had an impressive start to the year, rising over 4% year-to-date with only three days of negative performance.
However, as the equity market has moved higher, investors have become increasingly concerned about valuation. While it is difficult to ignore the fact that the S&P 500 forward P/E ratio currently sits at 18.5x, well above its 25-year average of 16.0x, we believe elevated valuations may be justified for three reasons. First, 2018 earnings growth is expected to come in around 15%, suggesting investors will be compensated for paying a higher price, and second, inflation and interest rates are both below their long-term averages. In an environment of low rates, low inflation, and healthy earnings, perhaps it is appropriate for stock market valuations to be above average?
Finally, valuation is not a great predictor of short-term returns. As we show on page 6 of the Guide to the Markets, valuation tells you very little about what will happen over the next year, but a decent amount about what to expect over the next five years. For those who are still skeptical about equities given current valuations, it is important to remember that bull markets tend to go out with a bang, rising by an average of 26% during their final 12 months. This makes sitting on the sidelines expensive, particularly in a world of low interest rates.
So are valuations concerning? They have our attention, but we remain cautiously optimistic that equities can continue to push higher. However, late cycle markets require a more nuanced approach to investing, meaning active management will be essential. As such, we continue to see opportunity in the more value-oriented sectors of the market, with energy and financials being two of our favorite ideas.
Low inflation and yields can support higher multiples
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Opinions and statements of market trends that are based on current market conditions constitute our judgment and are subject to change without notice. These views described may not be suitable for all investors. References to specific securities, asset classes and financial markets are for illustrative purposes only and are not intended to be, and should not be interpreted as, recommendations. Past performance is no guarantee of future results. Investment returns and principal value of an investment will fluctuate so that an investor’s shares, when sold or redeemed, may be worth more or less than their original cost. ETF shares are bought and sold throughout the day on an exchange at market price (not NAV) through a brokerage account, and are not individually redeemed from the fund. Shares may only be sold or redeemed directly from a fund by Authorized Participants, in very large creation/redemption units. For all products, brokerage commissions will reduce returns.
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