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Human Behavior

How to Torture Your Employee By Using Acronyms

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Dear Employee,

The CEO talked to the CFO who met with the COO, CMO & CTO. We all looked at the P&L. I’m concerned you’re not spending enough on Q1 national CPMs and GRPs to meet our ROI goals. We’re also not going to make our MG back on this title. We’ve talked to the reps at WME who say they will reduce their backend points by .05 in return for a lower guaranteed MG. In addition, please check the COGs for the new SKUs and make sure we have the right MSRPs.

BTW, need the WFM suggestions ASAP! Tx and TTYL!

——–

Dear Boss,

You are an SOB.

——-

Why Your Torture Plan Will Surely Backfire

It ironically takes the receiver an extra second or two to process the information than if it had just been spelled out. Of course some acronyms are necessary but a whole paragraph of them can make the receiver start to question their life choices. Also, if the receiver doesn’t actually know what you’re talking about and doesn’t understand the definition after searching Google and doesn’t want to ask you to explain because they’ll feel stupid, they are going to fill in the blanks in ways you don’t want them to.

Maybe Try this Instead?

I’m not suggesting don’t use them. You can. You should sometimes. You don’t need to write out “Chief Operating Officer.” We all know that one. But use them when necessary and not superfluously. Kind of like truffle oil. You also might want to question why you’re using so many of them. Do you like the sound of your own acronymic voice? Is it to sound more important and knowledgeable, like when you had to BS your way through a test in school on a book you didn’t read? Don’t h8 the MSGR!

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