Don't Let These Voices Affect Your Ability to Believe in Yourself

Don't Let These Voices Affect Your Ability to Believe in Yourself

We all hear the voices in our minds, and we usually hear them when we’re alone. They wait until they sense a vulnerable opening, and then they become louder and louder. These voices can infect our ability to believe in ourselves. The voices creep from our subconscious mind to our conscious mind like thieves in the night. They begin as whispers, and before you know it, they turn into loud shouts.

These are the negative voices that tend to pick at ourselves, and for many of us, we underestimate these voices.

As a matter of fact, often these voices disguise themselves as humorous little personal barbs. You’ve heard them:

  • When you stub your toe, they can sound something like this: “Really? Have you lost your ability to walk into a room without hurting yourself?”

One whisper from that negative voice seems harmless enough, but that voice is notharmless, and never stops at just one jab.

It picks up steam, and waits for its next opportunity:

  • When you can’t figure out an answer to a question, that voice might say this: “Oh, come on now; even you can figure this out.”
  • When you get lost or confused, that voice might say something like this: “Maybe you should tattoo the answer to your hand because you can’t seem to remember anything anymore.”

You might think that those negative voices are just teasing you, or perhaps just trying to be funny, but think about it: Do you really think these voices are harmless and can’t damage your self confidence? After all, they’re your voices, and more often then not, they are actually spoken out loud by you.

Related: When Things Are Overwhelming, It Helps to Remember This

The voices gain steam and can get meaner and meaner:

  • When you feel defeated, they can sound something like this: “You aren’t good enough to win.”
  • When you feel lonely, they can sound something like this: “You deserve to be alone.”
  • When you feel insecure, they can sound something like this: “You aren’t good enough to succeed.”

It’s difficult to fight back while the voices hide in your subconscious, but the moment they move to the conscious mind, you can choose to not listen. You can certainly choose not to say these thoughts out loud.

In the movie, “ A Beautiful Mind,” Professor John Nash is asked about the tormenting and self-deprecating things he sees and hears. He says, “I’ve gotten used to ignoring them and I think, as a result, they’ve kind of given up on me. I think that’s what it’s like with all our dreams and our nightmares… we’ve got to keep feeding them for them to stay alive.”

We all hear the negative voices, but there are positive voices you can you choose to listen to, and these are the voices I’d encourage you to feed. These are the voices that tell you that anyone can stub a toe, or struggle with an answer to a question, or get lost, or feel defeated, lonely, or insecure. It’s part of the human condition, and it’s a part of being alive. It’s also a part of being kinder to you, and that contributes to believing in yourself.

Rob Jolles
Sales Strategy
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A sought-after speaker and best-selling author, Rob Jolles teaches, entertains, and inspires audiences worldwide. Rob draws on more than thirty years of experience to teach pe ... Click for full bio

Most Read IRIS Articles of the Week: Feb 19-23

Most Read IRIS Articles of the Week: Feb 19-23

Here’s a look at the Top 11 Most Viewed Articles of the Week on, Feb 19-23, 2018

Click the headline to read the full article.  Enjoy!

1. Don’t Get Pinged by the Social Security Earnings Limit

I’d like to introduce you to Peggy. Born in 1956, Peggy will be 62 in 2018. She has worked in retail her whole life, the past twenty-five years spent in management. Peggy divorced from her husband 14 years ago, is still single and has no children. — Dana Anspach

2. We're Back to “Bad News is Good News” and “Good News is Great News”

This week the markets shrugged off last week’s fears and went back to the slow and steady melt up, despite economic news that looked likely to once again rock the boat. — Lenore Elle Hawkins

3. Q1 2018 Factor Views

Themes established in 2017 across a wide range of markets and factors continued to resonate through the fourth quarter. Economic growth was strong and supportive of equity markets across the globe, a range of volatility measures reached all-time lows, and business and consumer sentiment remained elevated. — Yazann Romahi and Garrett Norman

4. A Beneficial Basket of Commodities

Advisors and investors that feel they are hearing more and more about commodities and the corresponding exchange traded products in recent months are right. That is a natural result of dollar weakness and yes, the greenback is floundering again in 2018. — Tom Lydon

5. 3 Trends Shaping the Future of Asset Management

As the industry works to cope with new regulation, wades through an outpouring of new products, learns to satisfy investors’ shifting priorities and manages the active-passive debate, the viability of business units will be questioned, and at times radical measures will be taken. Peter Hopkins

6. 5 Ways Advisors Leave Money on the Table, and What to Do About It

My hope is that this article points out some opportunities for you to make more money and serve your clients at a higher level and that you decide to do something about it. — Bill Bachrach

7. The Market Has Gone Wild! Is It Time to Change Your Investment Strategy?

Whether the market is flying high or taunting your emotions with new lows and some bumpy volatility, here are four things every investor should keep in mind ... — Lauren Klein

8. How to Deepen Client Relations and Capture New Business Using Engaging Content

Why financial advisors NEED to understand much more clearly the power of good digital market. With tools like AdvisorStream, it’s easier than ever to get the content you need to drive leads and referrals today! — Kirk Lowe and Matt Halloran

9. Three Ways The Most Successful Gain Big Attention

How do some firms and ideas go from nowhere to everywhere in a few short months? All of a sudden a restaurant becomes popular, a gas station gains a cult following, or a Broadway show becomes too popular to get a ticket for years. — Maribeth Kuzmeski

10. Who Are the Hottest FinTech Firms and Influencers Around the World?

"Worldwide, $27.4 billion poured into fintech startups in 2017, Accenture reports, up 18% from 2016. With so much in play, it’s not surprising that 22 companies are new on this, the third edition of our list."  — Chris Skinner

11. The New Stock Market Normal Is Not What You Think!

Many sensational headlines have been written the past few weeks about market declines, but two things have increased for sure: the viewership and the ad revenues of financial media organizations — Preston McSwain​​​​​​​

Douglas Heikkinen
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IRIS Co-Founder and Producer of Perspective—a personal look at the industry, and notables who share what they’ve learned, regretted, won, lost and what continues ... Click for full bio