Stuck in cement.
I would say hands down that's how most people feel when they are faced with indecision and uncertainty. Immobilized. They lack focus and clarity. They can't get out of their own way. Yet, despite feeling stuck, they equally feel like they are spinning out of control. Their frustration is often tied up feeling anxious and overwhelmed. All of these factors prevent them from taking the necessary steps to create any kind of change so they can start to feel 'unstuck.'
Stuck in the past and unable to make changes in the present, leads to difficulty creating a different future - a future more aligned to where they want to be. Why? Have you ever heard the cliche, 'if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail?' Or, 'square peg, round hole. No doubt you have. One tool in the toolbox. One strategy. Few, if any options. Because we are creatures of habit (sometimes that's a good thing, sometimes not so much), people are naturally inclined to use the same technique to solve their problems. That works, until well, it doesn't. And all of those factors create more indecision and frustration.
Unfortunately, in times of distress and uncertainty, people are problem-focused rather than solution-focused. However, changing your mindset from the former to the latter, will provide the springboard you need to solve what ails you.
Trust me, it works.
1. First, get out of your own way and be open to changing your mindset from problem focused to solution focused.
2. Visualization.
Take time to actually visualize how you would want this situation to look like if you could make it happen. We all dream about what that would look like - more often than you probably realize. Ask yourself: What would it look like? What would you be doing differently? What would remain the same? What would be the solution to this problem in your ideal world? What's Plan B? What has worked in the past? What hasn't? How do I want my relationship/work/life/future - whatever it is, to really look like? Is the resolution to this issue even possible?
3. Goals.
Once you have created that image in your mind, set both short and long terms goals to make that happen. What can you do today? This week? This month? What is actually attainable in the short term? Setting and achieving short term goals, increases our self-efficacy, strengthens our abilities, and empowers us to continue to work hard with equal amounts of determination and fortitude.
4. Honor your strengths.
We all have them. Ask: What are your strengths in solving this problem? What is your weakest link? What resources do you need to get to address your weakest links? Is this issue similar to another issue you have struggled with in the past? If so, how did you resolve that issue?
If you take the time to ask yourself these questions and approach the problem being focused on the solution, there is a significant likelihood that you will start to look at this problem - and many others that follow (because there will be many others!!) with a different mindset. A mindset that can more effectively take you from stuck to unstuck.