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How to Overcome Incompatibility Between Partners? Focus on Values

“What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility” ~ Leo Tolstoy

In our practice, we have come to believe that there is very little incompatibility in behaviors that cannot be adapted for. For some partners, getting along and approaching problems similarly comes more easily. Others may have behavioral traits that require them to work a little harder. Forewarned is forearmed; with the correct understanding, it is possible to make sure that you are always taking into account who they are and who you are to make sure your approach is the best one possible, even for people with whom you may not have an automatic connection.However, we feel a little differently about the importance of sharing at least some of the same values when it comes to compatibility and long-term stability of a business partnership. The ability to see some things the same way will avoid some fundamental conflicts. If you have too many values in complete opposition, you may find it hard to understand the motivation behind their decisions and where they choose to focus their energy.If you value altruism, while your partner is more focused on monetary gains, but no one has made their interests explicit, you may have trouble agreeing on certain uses of partner time, for example, without understanding why you feel differently. It is so easy to assume that everyone sees the world as you do. We can assess underlying values to help you see where values overlap and where they diverge. When you see that you have at least some values in common, you have a base from which to explore where you are different and look for ways each of you can feel satisfied. When disagreements start to arise, you will have the tools to more easily take the perspective of your partner. This results in less conflict and more agreement for all of the partners.