After six long months of utter desolation (or bliss — depending on how you look at it), football season is finally back in action. And with that also comes dealing with die-hard fans at work. Fandom is great and all, but some people just don’t know when to stop … So avoid doing these annoying acts at work, and maybe you won’t walk into the office to find that your computer monitor has been bashed in by a deflated football (oh, the irony).
#1. Tailgating at Work
No one wants to play beer pong at 2:00 p.m. on a Monday afternoon. No one. So keep those Solo cups away from the meeting table. And while you’re at it, grab a shirt too. As much as you want to show off your team’s logo painted on your belly, we’re pretty sure that goes against any office dress code.
#2. Rubbing It in That You’re Going to the Game
We get it. You’re excited that you got tickets to the sold-out game and us plain folk have to watch it at home. Whoop-de-doo. At least we can watch the game in our underwear and not be at risk for indecent exposure.
#3. Humblebragging About Going to the Game
Oh, so you’re drained from going to the game and cheering on your team through victory? All that yelling and “whoo-hoo”ing hurt your delicate throat? Life can sure get rough. Would you like a bottle of milk to accompany your whining?
#4. Talking About Prepping Your Fantasy Football League
You’ve become That Guy who responds to a simple “how’s it going?” with “I’m so stressed, man. I’ve been staying up to scoping out the best players for my fantasy football league.” Good for you, I guess? Maybe you and Ms. Humblebrag should get acquainted.
#5. Talking About Your Fantasy Football Team … All Day, Every Day
“Hey, Joe, how’s that report coming along?” “It’s coming along, Larry. But my fantasy football team rocked it last night!” Joe, we wish we cared more. But honestly, no one wants to hear about your FF team. Go join the 2:00 p.m. Monday beer ponger. You two seem to have a good grip on work appropriateness.
#6. Recapping Highlights From SportsCenter
Between our Facebook newsfeed, Twitter trends, and every news syndication on this planet, the last thing anyone wants to hear is your recap of last night’s SportsCenter. So you can stop giving us all the highlights, lowlights, and anything else in between — there’s a reason why you’re not a reporter.
#7. Asking People Why They’re Not a Football Fan
When your coworker says they dislike football, it’s equivalent to them saying they hate puppies. And you’re thinking, “How can this person even sleep at night with such hate?” Sorry to break it to you, but some people just don’t care about football like you do (or even puppies, for that matter — what’s wrong with you?).
#8. Monday Morning Quarterbacking
You’re such a football expert that if the Seahawks had you as their coach in the Super Bowl, that game-ending play wouldn’t have even crossed your mind. As for last night’s game, we won’t even get you started. And that’s not because you’d get riled up, but because we know you’re just BSing.
#9. Changing Your Coworker’s Desktop Background
How dare your coworker have a Steelers wallpaper on her computer? This is Hawk Territory. Don’t be That Guy that lurks onto people’s computers and ruins security protocol for everyone.
#10. Claiming Women Aren’t Real Fans
The N.Y. Times reported that women have surpassed men as regular-season viewers. Who’s the real fan now? Enough said.
#11. Dissing on the Seahawks
Claim as you will that all Seahawks fans are bandwagoners, but there’s no doubt that we’ve been rocking the NFL world. We’ve heard plenty of jeers over the years, and that hasn’t slowed our momentum down yet.
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